Life Coaching – calming emotions, so to take the action you need

Life coaching is the half way house between those who are seriously distressed and unquestionably need the right kind of help and those aspiring and approaching real spiritual wellbeing/enlightenment. Life skills is for the great majority of us in the middle. We have to be our own holistic life coach for most, if not all of our life.

This part of the website will make these principles as clear as possible – based on my experience as a therapist and human being. The aim is to be useful for those looking for a life coach or who wish to be better able to do it themselves – to find greater emotional control and insight, in order to achieve the goals and change they need for a better and more fulfilled life.

What might we be looking for – how long is a piece of string?

  • Understand how to really hear and see what people are saying – at work and at home.
  • Cultivate real empathy and then the ability to influence and motivate others
  • The ability to stand back and see the bigger picture – wood from trees. We are talking about your situation (life stuff) and how you process it.
  • Get that work/life balance …. well balanced
  • Build your motivation – positive and negative that serves you and not hinders you
  • Freeing you from emotions that keep you stuck or repeating the same old tired patterns
  • Learning to hear and trust your intuition
  • And much more

The first requirement is to know yourself sufficiently well that arousal levels can be low enough for sufficient lengths of time that some clarity and insight is possible. Go to Self Development

Next, useful goal setting is required – not as easy as it sounds but essential that it is done in a way that activates our problem solving capacity. Go to Goal Setting

Then, to begin the change we require as we motivate and activate ourselves. Often this brings a growing calm and confidence but more may be needed – using a variety of proven methods including visualisations, reframes, tasks, metaphors and stories. Go to Self Confidence

Getting the ball rolling

We all know that these physical factors are good for us – so begin self development, goal setting and confidence building by noting where you are now.

A Physical Checklist

  • Eating sensibly?  Are you eating a nutritionally balanced diet, regularly and unhurriedly? Unlikely. Consider taking a daily multivitamin/mineral/omega 3 fish oil/ B complex and check for possible food intolerances.
  • Smoking/Drugs/Drinking? Do you avoid smoking and drugs? Do you either not drink or only in moderation?
  • Sleeping well and enough? Are you regularly getting enough sleep? Too little sleep affects thoughts and behaviour. Are you dreaming a lot, waking early and feeling tired? If so, what is unresolved from the day before?
  • Exercise regularly? Exercise is important to enable the mind and body to work efficiently. It doesn’t have to be strenuous, just regular. Just 20 minutes of the right sort of exercise can release endorphins – the ‘feel good’ chemicals.
  • Laughing a lot? Laughter is a great destressor and best done in company.
  • Physical contact? Touch is important. Do you have appropriate physical contact with anyone? If not a person, then pets can provide therapeutic contact. Also therapeutic massage treatments e.g.: aromatherapy, reflexology, back and neck etc.

A story that you must read

t was going to be a great day. The families and friends of all the race participants would be there, cheering from the stands. And the event was a big one. In fact would you believe it – there were runners and jumpers and throwers who had competed in the Olympic Games that had just finished.

Their race was 100 meters and all the runners in this race were paraplegic. None had ever raced before such a big crowd. And so they trained and trained and trained.

The day arrived and the excitement was intense. The anticipation could be cut with a knife. They all lined up, the starting gun fired and they were off.

Then an amazing thing happened. One of racers tripped up and fell over. The others then slowed down and as one, stopped racing. Then they turned around, went back to the fallen competitor and picked him up.

And they held hands and together walked over the finishing line.

If this story moved you, then you are touching something within you that is more than practicalities and daily life. It it greater and perhaps even sacred. Jonathan Haidt calls this emotion elevation or divinity, with or without God

Should this be part of your newly better coached life?