I see more and more clients with Skype. And I am noticing a pattern of sorts – that my Skype clients are typically desperate as they have tried lots of things and somehow or other have come across either my website or Human Givens. And I have also found, a little to my surprise, that online help or Skype therapy can “work” just as well and that very rarely does distance, different cultures or even language make much difference.
This is the story of Brigitte, from Germany and whose English, though much better than my German, was well short of fluent. Indeed as I look back, our communication limitations might well have helped as it would have been impossible for me to digest what I later learnt about Brigitte, right at the beginning. Her obvious problem was that she was classically depressed – worrying incessantly, dreaming far too much and living a life of exhaustion and at times, helplessness. Brigitte could listen to my Depression MP3 and took on board the need for her to worry less and this was based (for Brigitte) on an understanding that make complete sense to her – that she was dreaming far too much and this was the immediate cause of her exhaustion.
Skype therapy in detail
As she began to feel better and our relationship with Skype therapy became warmer and easier, she was able to reveal three great problems that she had to deal with. One was revealed as trauma at the birth of her son (he was now six) but actually was much more than that – namely living with chronic pain. This in turn was related to a whole range of physical problems that she has had to deal with for many years. I used Rewind to clear the birth trauma and we did trance relaxation, including pain relief to help her. Second she had suffered from sexual abuse by a relative as a young child, thankfully on only a few occasions. We managed to successfully detraumatise this also by using Rewind. And then she began to reveal the extent of the toxic relationship with her parents. What she needed from me was help to free her from profound feelings of guilt and worthlessness – mainly fed by her mother who was deeply unhappy with her relationship to her husband.
The great irony and of course powerful resource was that so much of Brigitte’s life worked well – you might say in spite of the problems she had to deal with. She was happily married, had a very active social life and ran a dance studio. Amazingly, her chronic pain and physical problems remained hidden much of the time behind a healthy physicality (she was a great dancer and had been a successful athlete as a child and teenager). Indeed much of what was needed, after we managed to clear her chronic sense of guilt and personal responsibility to her parents, was for her to slow down and make time just for Brigitte.
Brigitte and I skyped regularly over a six month period. By the end these sessions had allowed Brigitte to feel more in control of her life and emotions than she had ever done previously – and perhaps not surprisingly, her chronic pain and disablement were also less evident.