A bad relationship with your spouse or partner is a toxic and debilitating experience. And your efforts to find a way through to meeting some of your essential human needs from the relationship (for intimacy and connection and control) may be leading you to concealment and betrayal or addictive behaviours. This page explains how this can happen and what you can do to improve matters
- Be calm – and so have awareness and if needed, ask for time outs.
- Be specific – avoid generalisations.
- Avoid blame and who is right discussions
- Acknowledge your partners feelings and point of view
- Speak non-defensively by changing your mindset of your partner
- Use your imagination to creatively put yourself in your partner’s place.
- Be accountable for the things you say and do
- Stay with the recent past when you talk about your problems.
- Catch your partner doing something right and give them credit for it.
- Find pleasurable activities to do together
Relationship case studies…