It is that time of year again – for New Year resolutions and promises. I am going to stop smoking, lose weight, get fit, climb high, stop falling. Look at the list above – that pretty well covers it.
But how many of your new year resolutions will have been torn up by the end of January or even at the end of the first week?
So this year – let your first resolution be to do it differently. You are not going to rely on your unsupported desire to make that change and hope for the best.
So what wisdom can I share with you now? And what do I know will work for you, as I am inspired by the successful changes that so many of my clients make?
This is my first pearl of wisdom. It is that you prepare the ground first – by focusing on your strengths. What can you discover about yourself that you could use? I am talking of any and all of your strengths, wherever you have to look. Most of us are too easily distracted by a focus on failure and our all too familiar deficiencies. This will be especially so when we contemplate what seems to be very tricky New Year resolutions.
So, what have been your successes over the past year? And why were they successful? What did you have or do to bring these successes about? Really think about this and begin to go back to the memories and relive them as vividly as you can. And what have you come to rely on about yourself? When are you determined? What do your friends like about you? When are you at your best and most natural? When do you get into the flow? Because it will be when you do, that you discover something really important, that you can use and transpose to your quest to do things differently for this year’s new year resolutions.
This kind of focus will be priming you for success now. It is not just the specific strengths and capacities that you discover but also about giving attention to what will propel you towards success.
Language is so important. For example, you should never ask a small child who is carrying a tray of drinks “to be careful and not drop the tray” For she will focus on dropping the tray. Instead say “how well you are holding the tray steady” It will be the holding steady that will be what the unconscious remembers.
And then ask yourself what you will be enjoying, when you have lost two dress sizes or saved a fortune in cigarette money. These questions are pre-supposing success. And again you must spend time on this – to imagine it well and clearly and to enjoy the feeling.
Finally, take pressure off yourself. It is not whether you make that transformation on the first of January but that when you make the change, it is real. And you will be relaxed about only making that change when you are really ready.