Be your own counsellor
Let’s imagine. You have received your main counselling training in the Human Givens and are now pretty experienced in helping people who come with what seems to be quite different mental and emotional difficulties.
How would you be approaching yourself?
Are you locked in a depression trance – sleeping badly and with low energy and motivation
or worrying and anxious without really knowing why or stuck in addictive and obsessive behaviours – which could be obvious or more subtle?
Probing and Information
- What is not working now in your life – do a Needs Audit
- What could be done quickly to bring arousal down – so you can begin to think straighter?
- How helpful might it be if you truly understood what was happening so that pressure was taken from your shoulders?
- Would immediate problem solving help?
- Could an experience of feeling calmer really help now – in which case try a gentle trance relaxation
Forensic Self Diagnosis – to follow the emotion with the affect bridge
Activate a feeling that is unwelcome or confusing. When you are ready move back to the first point in time when this feeling was felt. Once uncovered, the emotion can then be dealt with – though in truth you might need help here if the arousal levels are high.
Chasing Rainbows – Try This
- Identify a habit, behaviour or thought process that you may recognise in yourself or has been suggested to you as immature, childish or juvenile.
- Think about when you first behaved or felt like that
- If you have identified a child, what state of mind is that child in? How old do you feel?
- Now work out why you are still thinking or behaving like that as an adult? What are you trying to achieve? Are you aware of an unmet childhood need?
- The next time you feel like that, before you open your mouth or take action, just say to yourself, “Am I ?” (your adult age) or “Am I ?” (your child age).
- The emotionally mature adult will respond with rational clear thinking. Left unchecked, the child will cause an emotional hijack.
You can now choose to behave as a fully functioning adult, engaging all your mature resources to produce a well considered, rational outcome. Start to notice changes in yourself. Chasing rainbows again becomes strikingly obvious. Understanding what is happening to you – to begin to realise that you are not going mad and that recovery is possible and that you will get your emotions under control. Rita Lehman
That is indeed a liberation. You deserve this and it is there for you.
The starting point is to truly get what is happening. To get that you are not mentally ill. And that the pressure all around to force you to believe that you are mentally ill – is just dangerous rubbish.